


i didn't write the book on fun

by golden_goose



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other, Pornography, Serial Killers, Sex Tapes, dennis is a gross rapist, some fucked up shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-07 02:43:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10350645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/golden_goose/pseuds/golden_goose





	1. Chapter 1

Before he destroys all of his sex tapes in a fit of rage, Dennis’s daily routine involves masturbaiting to one out of the dozens of tapes he’s collected over the years. Dennis has recorded all the sexual encounters in his bedroom for the past 11 years. He started with a clunky video camera he bought secondhand hidden in his closet so he later can watch himself fuck girls from behind, but by the time the apartment burns down, he's assembled an elaborate surveillance system.

After he destroys his tapes, Dennis makes his first foray into the world of Internet pornography, something that had never really appealed to him. After all, why watch someone else fucking when you can watch yourself?

Of course, there are positives to Internet porn that he had never considered. Dennis discovers that he can find thousands of videos in any category he might desire: ‘gagging’ or ‘teen’, ‘anal’ or ‘facial’. He can't watch videos of his own conquests anymore, but he finds that watching another man shove his dick down some 18 year old’s throat is satisfying in its own way. He gets hard watching the discomfort on the faces of the girls’ as they're fucked roughly from behind and strokes himself watching as cocks are shoved into the sluts’ unprepared assholes. He cums along with the money shots in the videos and imagines it’s his jizz they’re swallowing.

No, Dennis cannot always make women submit to him anymore, and his conquests have become fewer and farther between, with these fucking feminists dismissing him as ‘creepy’ and ‘sexist’, but he can watch as these whores online are forced to submit to other men.


	2. Chapter 2

On one of those nights when he can't sleep, when he's left alone in Dee's living room while she and Mac sleep in the other room, Dennis finds himself flipping from channel to channel on Dee’s crappy TV. He skips past vulgar cartoons and cable news and some crappy romantic comedies until, finally, he gets to the channel that's filled with true crime shows. His favorite. 

 

Dennis loves this channel. He loves to see people like the idiots that surround him get what's coming to them. He's even learned some tips for avoiding the police from shows.

 

Mac hates this channel. He thinks it’s weird that Dennis watches it.

 

Tonight, Dennis catches the end of a documentary on Aileen Wuornos. He doesn't much care for Wuornos but he watches anyway as she's led out of the courtroom in handcuffs before the credits start rolling. 

 

Up next is a film about Ted Bundy. Bundy is one of Dennis’s favorite serial killers, almost an inspiration for him. The man was handsome, intelligent, charming and charismatic--just like Dennis. The way Bundy was able to fool so many people for so long, and to gather some young groupies as well has always impressed him. 

 

The film starts with footage from the night of Bundy’s execution.  _ What an undignified way to die _ , thinks Dennis,  _ with all those fucking protesters outside _ .

 

Then there's the obligatory flashback to his  _ oh so awful  _ childhood (really though, it was no worse than the way Dennis grew up, with a bitch of a sister and Barbara and that monster Frank as parents), and the obligatory psychobabble about how childhood trauma shaped him. 

 

The documentary only starts to get interesting when the killings begin. They play a clip of a reenactment of Bundy’s first murder.

 

Dennis reaches into his sweatpants.

 

He remembers jerking off to slasher films on late night television as a teenager. He would always imagine that he was the killer, getting a high off of the thought of punishing others. The girls’ screams were inevitably what pushed him over the edge.

 

Dennis begins to stroke himself while the narrator describes the way Bundy beat his second victim unconscious. He moves his hand up and down his shaft with a steady rhythm while images of the young victims flash across the screen, accompanied, of course, by voice-over descriptions of the ways in which they died. 

 

Dennis takes his time, keeping his touch light and pulling back any time he feels himself approaching orgasm. Bundy was a prolific and talented man and Dennis wants to make it through to the end. He lets his head fall back against the couch and imagines himself as the killer of these women the narrator describes. Dennis has bound women before and watched them struggle, but he has never killed. He envisions himself as Bundy in the woods with a 16 year with his hands around her throat. Dennis’s hips jerk a little when he pictures the light going out in her eyes and his hand clamps down his cock to keep himself from cumming too soon. 

 

Dennis saves the grand finale for what he considers Bundy’s greatest crime--the assaults at the Chi Omega sorority house. _ What I would have done to those stuck up bitches _ , he thinks. 

 

He cums imagining their screams. 


End file.
